I have been thinking more and more about the girls lately. What will it be like as they are brought to our hotel room to meet us for the first time…Will they cry? Will they ignore us, hoping if they do, we will simply go away? Will they surprise us all by being one of those almost-unheard-of-but secretly-hoped-for cases of “love at first sight”? I don’t know how they will react, but one thing I do know is that they are getting ready to experience another traumatic event in their life, no matter how they respond outwardly. And my heart breaks for them anew.
I try to put myself in their shoes. I imagine in my mind what it would be like to be happily playing in a sunny, friendly place, where I am loved deeply and my every care seems to be met. A place where I have friends that I play with and I know the layout, the smells, the faces, like the back of my hand. A place where I am the favorite of my group or where I am affectionately referred to by my nickname, a name only those closest to me call me. But then one day, a man comes and takes me away from all of that. I drive for a long while and suddenly find myself thrust into the arms of two new faces. Only these faces don’t look mine. As a matter of fact, these faces don’t look like any I’ve ever seen before and I am frightened by all that is unfamiliar. These people don’t smell like me, they don’t talk like me, and what’s worse, they are taking me behind this door and I am trapped in this small room with them. I can’t get out. I’m trapped in a world I don’t recognize, I don’t understand. I was just playing…happy and content in my world, and then everything suddenly changed.
That’s how I envision Gotcha Day. I know it will be a happy day for Rick and me. A day we have been diligently striving toward since October 5, 2012. And I can’t wait. I truly can’t. But I do think often of what our poor girls will go through in order for us to “get to them”. And while my heart will be full and bursting with love and adoration for these two precious little girls, I’m also preparing my heart for the grief that will inevitably burst forth from their hearts. After all, they’ve lost so much already. And now, they are going to lose more. I pray that this is the last of their losses for a long, long time. I pray that they will know a life of happiness and joy and salvation that only God can grant. I wish them all that a parent hopes and dreams for each new life entrusted.
Please do pray for us and our girls in the days ahead.
We covet your prayers for:
- Safety while traveling
- Our children and their caregivers
- Positive attachment for the girls
Thank you!! 🙂